I don't know about you, sister, but if my kids ever "arose up" and called me "blessed", I'd faint dead away! Usually, I can expect them to wish me a "Happy Mommy's Day" or birthday, but to actually be appreciative for no reason? I don't know what I'd do! Children naturally only care about themselves ~ they don't think of compliments unless prompted. After all, you have to remind them to say "please" and "thank you"! Mrs. George writes, "Such a display of gratitude is certainly what all moms dream of and train their children toward, but such thankfulness isn't always expressed."
Here are some interpretations of this verse:
"They rise up in the morning and, finding everything well prepared, the children express their thankfulness to her." (Hebrew text and English translations)
"Rising up meant standing up in her presence as a mark of respect."
"The children rise up as a preparatory movement in order to make an announcement, to give words of tribute in reverential honor of her." (Commentary on the OT volume 6)
Mrs. George wrote that a more realistic interpretation would be that "the Proverbs 31 woman's children grow up and go out to live in a way that brings honor and blessing and credit to her. The children's lives become the living praise of her worth and her work. The children of our Proverbs 31 woman give her life its highest reward. They bless her. They praise her. The children experience the sweet fruits of her virtues, and she experiences the sweet fruits of their lives and rejoices in them."
That's my ultimate prayer for my children ~ not that say thank you, stand when I enter a room, or give a flowery speech that sings my praises ~ but to grow up and live Godly lives. I want to bless them by praying for them, caring for them, teaching them and training them daily. Mrs. George gives 4 basic essential elements in the love of a mother who is a blessing to her family.
Essential #1: A Mother Cares
a. The gift of basics ~ We can show our love daily by giving our children the basics of food, clothing, shelter, and rest. We spend the majority of our days providing food and clothing for our loved ones by preparing meals and doing laundry. The shelter we provide is a home warm in temperature and in love. Because we don't want to be contentious or loud, (Proverbs 21:9 and 7:11) our home is a shelter where our family can rest and know peace. "Daily she extends the cup of physical care for her family."
b. The gift of time ~ It's been said that love is spelled T-I-M-E. Of course, very young children take up a lot of our time ~ feeding, rocking, diapering ~ potty-training, cleaning up their "discoveries", (like the time my youngest decorated herself and the walls with my brand-new tube of lipstick) and reading, singing, and playing. Mrs. George writes that "50 percent of a child's character and personality development takes place by age three and 75 percent by age five!" Older children need our time "as they learn to reason and become real conversationalists, as they face the challenges of middle school and high school, as they become young adults in the workplace or in college. They also need our time when they transform from "child" to "friend". "Every minute ~ indeed every second ~ we spend giving the gift of time to our children is an investment in their character and in their future."
c. The gift of long-distance love ~ Biblical Hannah is a wonderful example of this. After she left little Samuel at the temple with Eli, she traveled a day's journey every year with a new little coat she made her son. Elisabeth Elliot's mother wrote her daughter a letter a week from 1954 to 1985. Not only did she write Elisabeth, but her five other children as well! Imagine the time it took! Imagine having an intimately detailed record of your mother's love!
Essential #2: A Mother Focuses
As a Christian mother, my ultimate goal is to raise my children to love the Lord and serve Him. My assignment is to raise my child in such a way that he/she has a heart dedicated to God. I am training the next generation of Christians. Sadly, that number is growing smaller. According to recent studies, many teens who've been raised in church are "leaving their faith" by the time they enter college. Why is this so prevalent? I believe it's central reason is because of lack of care in the home. After this Bible study, I'm going to be sharing my thoughts on this somewhat "controversial" subject.
Sisters, (I'm including myself here, too) we need to take our role as mother more seriously! We have to do so much more than provide for our children physically and emotionally. We need to provide for them spiritually, too! That means we not only need to teach them "Bible stories", but how to pray, how to study the Word, how to live a Christian life.
Consider this quote from Edith Schaeffer: "We are responsible for 'handing on the flag [of faith]' and for being very careful not to drop it ~ or to drop out ~ because of our responsibility to the next generation.... To hand down truth to one more generation is one of the central commands of God." (Deuteronomy 6:4-7)
Yes, but how? You may ask. One way is to pray over your children. Another is to pray scripture. There is power and promise in the Word of God, my sisters! I also firmly believe that we should live our lives in a way that doesn't cause our little ones to stumble. Our children see us how we really are. If we put on our "spiritual" robes to go to church, but can't wait to shed them once we're home, we're causing our children to stumble by our own hypocrisy. Behaving one way for the pastor and another way at home is offending our little ones (causing them to stumble). Jesus Himself was very clear on this matter. He said "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were downed in the depth of the sea." (Matthew 18:1-6, Mark 9:36-37 and 42) It's vital that we maintain consistency in this area!
Essential #3: A Mother Plans
As caretaker, my job is to plan the daily operations of the home. Remember, the greatest desires of our hearts simply won't happen. We must plan for them! What does this include?
a. The presence of the Lord in my home. You can't give away what you don't posses, so I must fill my heart first. "For God's presence to be obvious in my home, my homemaking, and my dealings with the family, He must be present in my own heart."
b. Passing on the faith in Jesus Christ to my children (and grandchildren someday, Lord willing!). Plan for regular church attendance, daily devotions, pray to become aware of opportunities to point my children to Jesus. Plan to pray for them regularly. Mrs. George shared how she planned bedtime rituals with her girls by using Bible books and stories to read. I like the example of Dr. James Dobson and his wife Shirley. Each week, they set aside one day to fast and pray for their children.
c. A pleasant atmosphere in the home. Planning nutritious meals, setting the table beautifully, doing housework and laundry, little surprises for a fun home life ~ plan time for these things. I want my children to recall these things when they're grown up and out on their own.
d. Progressing relationships with my children. Know what's going on in their lives. Plan on questions to ask, ways to express my love, such as little gifts to delight and deeds of kindness I can bestow upon them. Plan outings, holidays, birthdays, Christmas and Easter celebrations. (I'll be sharing these later on, too.) Plan one-on-one time with the kiddos, too. My mother wisely did so for me.
Sometimes, when I arrived home from school, my mother would be waiting, car keys in hand. My dad was often away from home on business, so Mom would say, "Hey, Shel, wanna head to the mall and then get supper somewhere?" I'll always cherish those shopping trips and dinners. I always knew my mother was someone I could talk to and share my thoughts, feelings, and opinions with. My oldest daughter is thrilled to now be included in similar outings with Mommy and Nana. Even now, at age (ahem!) 40-something, I crave that "alone time" with my mother. Whenever we visit one another, we'll make sure everyone's tucked in bed, and then we'll either stay up and talk until 3 AM or head to Sonic for a limeade. Sometimes Mom takes me shopping, sometimes we just go to Hobby Lobby and Bed Bath and Beyond to "look". Thankfully, the hubs understands and celebrates the relationship I have with my mother, so he always makes sure Mom and I have some alone time, even to the point of watching the kiddos!
e. Plan for persistence, even when the child is seemingly "grown up". Dr. Richard Mayhue likens parenting to a 100-yard football field that has a life-and-death game being played on it. He stresses for parents to "go the distance" with your child, especially between the 95-yard line and the goal at the 100 yard-line. (Those being the ages of 18 to 25-ish.) After all, in a real football game, the team endures brutal blows, scratching and clawing to gain every inch of those final five yards! Think of those final five yards for our precious children ~ 2 of their most important decisions ~ next to faith in Jesus Christ ~ is their career choice and finding a mate! Such parenting opinions like "We've taught you everything you need to know. Now go and do it!" (to your middle-schooler) ~ "Well, you're on your own now. You can drive, you're old enough to get a job, and you know what you ought to do. Good luck!" (to your 16 year-old) ~ "Don't forget to visit us once in a while!" ~ (to your newly high school graduate) ~ simply shouldn't even exist in the Christian parent's mind, much less in their vocabulary!
I know wonderful people who believe that once their child turns 18, they're "out of the house and my job's over, thank God!" May it never be so, my sisters! That teenager is still a child that needs direction, care, and concern! We must plan to encourage, assist, advise, and pray for our children, whatever their ages. "Our assignment calls for us to lock arms together with them and move forward shoulder to shoulder, inch by inch, all the way to the finish line ~ no matter what!"
Essential #4: A Mother Works
Edith Schaeffer wrote this: "Being a mother is worth fighting for, worth calling a career, worth the dignity of hard work." As we do the hard work of mothering, God will bless our efforts and help us realize our dreams for our family. So, how are we to do our work?
a. Without murmuring or complaining. (Philippians 2:14)
b. By remembering Who we're ultimately working for. (Colossians 3:23)
c. Willingly and joyfully. (Proverbs 31:13)
d. Without expecting anything in return. (Luke 6:35)
e. By remembering it's our God-given assignment!
Yeah, But What If...?
"What if they don't follow my leading? What if they don't live for God? What if they don't follow in the way I've trained for them? What if they never say thank you even seem to notice all I've done for them? What if they don't ever rise up in any kind of honor?" Mrs. George writes this: "A mother's energy and efforts must never be motivated by possible rewards." There are things God has determined for us do to ~ no matter what!
a. Love your children. (Titus 2:4)
b. Teach your children. (Proverbs 1:8)
c. Train your children. (Proverbs 22:6)
d. Discipline your children (Proverbs 29:17)
e. Care for your children. (Proverbs 31:27)
Remember, dear sisters, we're not to have faith in our own doing, but in God's! We must leave our precious ones in the hands of the Father, Who, after all, loves them even more than we do!
Wow! What a challenge as a mother! It's so intimidating and daunting! This chapter has inspired me in so many ways ~ especially the quote, "Being a mother is worth fighting for!" As Mrs. George concluded, "When it comes to mothering, there is no place for neutrality, ignorance, aloofness, or a hands-thrown-up-in-the-air "I give up" attitude! Please, dear Father, help me be the kind of mother who is a blessing to her family!
I want to close this post with the words to a song Steve Green made popular. I'd like to make the chorus my prayer as well:
Oh, may all who come behind us find us faithful.
May the fire of our devotion light their way.
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey.
Oh, may all who come behind us find us faithful.
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