Cleaning 101

Yesterday's post touched on the importance of a clean & organized home. I believe that's it's incredibly important to have a house that's healthy and comfortable as well as a place that you're not embarrassed to show if unexpected company happens to drop by.

When my hubs comes in after a long day of work, the last thing he needs is to trip over shoes left by the front door, try to clear off a place for his lunch cooler & thermos, and move items off the couch so he can sit down!

When it's time to cook a meal, nothing's more frustrating than needing a pot to cook with ~ then realizing it's still in the sink from the night before with dried, crusting food sticking to it!

When it's time to do the laundry, nothing's more gross (or stinky!) than opening the lid to the washer and finding last week's wet towels you forgot to transfer to the dryer molding in the washing machine!

I'm in no way perfect with my housekeeping. I definately slip up from time to time ~ in fact, the above examples are from first hand experience! I'll be completely transparent with you and share that at this very moment, the floor in my closet has clothes piled on it, and I have wet clothes from last night still in the washer, waiting to be put in the dryer.

My mother was a fastideous housekeeper and ran a tight ship when it came to having a clean house. My brothers & I learned early on to keep our rooms neat and clean if we didn't want Mom upset. Clutter upset my mother horribly. Unfortunately, I was a bit of a pack-rat and didn't always meet her high standards. On more than one occasion, things would get unpleasant. The end result that I became like my mother ~ just as fastideous ~ just as demanding.

When I was a single woman, my apartment was always as neat as a pin, everything organized to perfection and scrubbed until it shown! Then, the hubs moved in. He's pretty organized, too, but we had to find room to add all of his stuff. One of the toughest things to fit was his huge metal desk. Did I mention it was ugly? There wasn't any extra space in the small bedroom or living room ~ I had already given up valuable wall space for his bookshelves! With no extra place for this horrific desk my new husband wasn't about to part with ~ no matter how many tears I shed ~ I soon realized that I had to get creative.

Fortunately, our apartment's floor plan had a large closet just off of the tiny dining area. On the bottom floors of the apartment complex, this area served as washer/dryer hookups. The second floors didn't have this option, but we had the space. Thankfully, after we cleaned out the closet, my husband's beloved, ugly desk fit right in, snug as a bug. We removed the closet doors, and I made a valance that matched my dining room to hide the ugly stack of boxes that was on the top shelf. I aptly named it "Hubby's Study Cove".

All in all, the hubs was pretty neat & clean, but he had this annoying habit that absolutely drove me nuts! Every evening, as soon as I had cleaned up the kitchen for the day ~ dishes whirling away in the dishwasher ~ he would take out a new glass, fill it an inch or so with water, drink it, and set it next to my sparkling sink. All I could think of was that my mother would've never allowed such blasphemy! Huffing and puffing, I washed the glass by hand, and put it away none too gently.

An hour or so later, he sweetly asked, "Honey, where's my glass?"
"I washed it and put it away," I replied through clenched teeth.
"Oh. I wanted another drink," he'd say nonchallantly, as he took out the glass and filled it up another inch before he'd drink it. Back by the sink it would go.

It took me a couple of years, but I learned to let it go. I realized that the hubs would always leave his glass by the sink, no matter what. Even after 14 years, his ritual is to get a glass out each night, and fill it an inch or two with water, drink it, and put it by the sink for a drink in the morning. I can honestly say that it doesn't bother me too much anymore, even though he's recently changed his "spot". The glass now goes next to/in front of the coffee pot.

With the addition of each child, I had more to keep clean and more clutter to keep up with. As I mentioned above, I had become a stickler for cleanliness, and sadly, my oldest daughter bore the brunt of my impossible standards. She was almost afraid to get her toys out and play, lest she make a mess and upset Mommy.

Thankfully, during a shameful Mommy meltdown, I caught a glimpse of my uncontrolled, unreasonable anger in a closet mirror. When I looked at my daughter's frightened face, I saw my own. I remembered my own childhood fears of my mother's anger. That was my turning point. Dropping to my knees, I asked my little girl to forgive me. Asking for her forgiveness was the first step to my own healing. Yes, I've slipped from time to time over the years, but the scripture "Be angry and sin not", comes to my mind, compelling me to ask for my children's forgiveness.

When my youngest came along, I began to lack the energy or motivation to do anything. I really began to slide, but I was too tired to care. Everything was becoming too much for me to handle. I used to be able to clean the house top to bottom within a few hours, now it took me days, and then it would just get messed up again! I felt overwhelmed and hopeless.

I've now learned that I can't do it all by myself. My 2 oldest are more than capable to make their beds, clean their rooms, lug in their hampers on wash day, and then put their laundry away. They can vaccuum/dust their own rooms as well. They also clear off the table after meals, and put away the clean dishes from the dishwasher each day. My youngest knows she has to put her toys away, but it can become a battle. I'm trying to learn creative ways to get her to do her jobs without me loosing my cool. She's learning how to put her clothes away, and she brings in her hamper as well.

Yes, a clean home is important, but we must find a balance between being uncaringly neglectful and fastideously controlling. Tomorrow, I'll be sharing some of my cleaning tips with you.