The Grace of Time Together

Wow, sisters! After a LONG hiatus, I'm glad to be back in my book study! As I mentioned in an earlier post, I went to visit my mother and my best friend from college. I had an enjoyable, relaxing time! Once I returned home, however, I just couldn't get into the groove with daily blogging. I'm glad to have continued my study ~ just didn't get it on the computer. So let's dive into the next chapter of extending grace to our children ~ by giving the gift of time to our kids.

Mrs. Clarkson writes "...I've also realized that my dreams [for my children] are not what really motivate my children to become the best they can be. What matters to them is my loving presence.... If I want them to be open to my messages, I need to be willing to serve them ~ to voluntarily give up my rights and my time to meet their felt needs ~ just as Jesus was willing to give for His disciples."

Think about how Jesus must have felt the night before His crucifixion. He knew from the beginning of time exactly what He was going to have to endure to redeem the souls of mankind. Please read Isaiah chapter 53. Try to imagine the magnitude of what was on Jesus' mind that evening. Yet, He still took the time to minister to His disciples. Please read John 13:1, 3-5. Jesus knew that each man (excluding Judas) was going to have to die for the kingdom just He was about to do. He didn't order them to do His will ~ He simply served.

Here was the King of the Universe, the Eternal One, the Creator, in the flesh ~ washing the grime and dust off the feet of His friends. He later broke the bread and served each one of them for the celebrated feast of the Passover.

If I want to teach my children about the grace of God, then "I must recognize that my love and service to them must come before any of my great words, my teaching and training. My time, my attention is what builds our relationship and prepares them to listen to what I have to say. Only then, once the wells of their need are filled with the grace of being loved, will my words to them about God's grace finally make sense."

"Serving" our children, of course, doesn't mean that we let them order us around or give into their whims. That certainly wasn't Jesus' example. The disciples knew He was their leader. Jesus commanded their obedience, but He didn't do it by pulling rank. He put their welfare second only to the will of the Father.

Giving our children this gift of grace requires commitment and a sacrifice of time, love and heart service. Consider Philippians 2:7-8.

So, what are some ways I can serve my children? Well, first we must have the proper affection for them. "Shelly, what are you talking about? Of course I LOVE my children!" Titus 2:4 tells us that mothers are "to love their children." Doesn't sound too revolutionary, but yet the Greek word used for love here is phileo. That means that I am to have an affectionate love, a love that cherishes its object. It is a friendship love, a love that enjoys children, a love that likes them!

In the book A Woman After God's Own Heart, Elizabeth George writes about a woman whose heart is overflowing with motherly affection. In fact, she dedicates two chapters to this godly mom! She encourages us to have:
1. A Heart that Prays ~ By doing so, it will draw them even deeper into our hearts.
2. A Heart that Provides ~ "A heart overflowing with motherly affection lovingly and graciously provides the necessities of life for her precious family."
3. A Heart that is Happy ~ "You create the atmosphere of the home with your attitudes."
4. A Heart that Gives ~
a. It's our role! "Someone has to undertake the wondrous task of having the family become a work of art."
b. Give generously! "She who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and she who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully!" (2 Corinthians 9:6)
c. Give expecting nothing in return.
5. A Heart of Fun ~ "Living in your home should be an absolute ball for every family member."
6. A Heart that Celebrates ~ "We have to be mothers; we have to do the duties, so why not go the extra mile and turn the mundane into a celebration?"
7. A Heart that gives Preferential Treatment ~ "Titus 2:4 teaches us that our husband and children are to take priority over all other human relationships and responsibilities."
8. A Heart that is Focused ~ "Beware of double-booking." In other words, don't try to focus on other people and our children at the same time. Here is an example Mrs. George gave. A mother was having a difficult time with her teenage daughter and was seeking counsel from Mrs. George via telephone. After 20 minutes of conversation, Mrs. George heard the mother say, "Oh, hello, honey." When Mrs. George asked the mother who it was, the mother said coolly, "Oh, it's only my daughter." The message this mother sent was loud and clear. Her phone call was more important than her God-given daughter.
9. A Heart that is Present ~ "Our presence in the home is important. No dollar amount can ever be put on the value of our presence at home after school, in the evening, at night, and on weekends and holidays."
10. A Heart that is Quiet ~ "A loving mother whose heart is quiet never broadcasts any harmful or critical information, not anything general and nothing specific about her children."

I want to extend the gift of grace to my kids by giving my time to them! I want them to know they are valued and treasured. After all, the Lord entrusted them to me!